im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
