no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
