Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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