are you still at the devil's house?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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