We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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