I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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