apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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