Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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