Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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