I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
