Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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