I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize