Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I wear drunk well.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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