I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
