idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
