2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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