is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
