Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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