Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
