it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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