they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
