Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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