Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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