I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Randomize
