i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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