forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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