i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
