I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
farters have to be the big spoon...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
