i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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