You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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