just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
