Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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