you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
