you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
