Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
