She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
