didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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