I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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