she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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