Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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