just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
