So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
porn star boner night. come get it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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