Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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