I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
organizing the empties. That sober.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
