I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The Olympian is in my bed
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