He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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