Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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