part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
