I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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