i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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