She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
