Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
