then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
