let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
