this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
