I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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