would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
