jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
