Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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