I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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