i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
