i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's shark week go big or go home
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
