Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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