I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
