I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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