He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
