he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
