I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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