Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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