Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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