How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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