3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
